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PocketJesus by pseudo-manitou PocketJesus by pseudo-manitou
(reposted after slightly editing the issue that got it ripped down off of Conformity-Art, er.. .I mean, Deviant-Art)

............

Why engage in thoughtful discussion when dogma can be yours at the touch of a button! The incredible POCKET JESUS is the electronic voice-piece for all your self-twisted religious insecurities. Judgment is His no longer!

Simply install batteries, quickly record up to ten of your very own commandments, and it will seem as if God's only son is backing every one of your petty whims and prejudices!

Alienate friends, coworkers, family members - even whole nations! Never again will you have to sift through convoluted logic again to find your reasons to hate! Great for starting protests, sparking US Supreme Court cases, promising crusades, stopping science, halting education, or appealing to your voting base when the media is not looking. Never again feel the shame of such words coming from your own mouth.

(Deluxe models also sold with features including - echo, glowing eyes, hidden horns, and a burning halo perfect for damaging non-believer flesh, cleaning your own sins, or lighting cigarettes.)

Never before has forcing the hand of God been so easy or so repetitive!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlucariofan113:
LucarioFan113 Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
You have my approbation! Fanatics are indeed the worst persons ever!
Keep speaking up your mind!
Reply
:iconspica-senpai:
SPiCa-Senpai Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2015  Hobbyist Filmographer
The "DESTROY ALL ARABS" part gets a hell of a lot funnier when you realize that Jesus himself was an Arab.
Reply
:iconpseudo-manitou:
pseudo-manitou Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2015  Professional General Artist
Indeed - and jewish.

People just seem to believe Jesus must be like them -- which again, is like claiming Jesus belongs to them, instead of the other way around.
Reply
:iconpdevinney:
pdevinney Featured By Owner Edited Apr 30, 2015
The sharp focal point of your message is quite impressive, very very good work. 
Reply
:iconfledgeforthephoenix:
fledgeforthephoenix Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2010  Professional General Artist
Wow, this certainly gets the message across.
I love it! You did a great job on this. :dummy:
Reply
:iconsketcherjak:
sketcherjak Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
This is one of my favorites of all time.
Reply
:iconoctoboy-the-8th:
Octoboy-the-8th Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2009
Ha ha, there are some people like that, aren't there?
Reply
:iconbetrayedanguish:
BetrayedAnguish Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2009  Student General Artist
Laughing. Out. Loud.

It was so powerful I HAD to spell it all out, lol.
Reply
:iconiluvshadow:
iluvshadow Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2009
LOL! SO true and funny :XD:
Reply
:iconshadwlf910:
shadwlf910 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2009
brilliant! how much? :)
Reply
:iconsun-stone:
sun-stone Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2009  Hobbyist
*giggle* Well done. Very well done. :+fav:
Reply
:iconsilkeyn:
Silkeyn Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2008
...Wow...That is awesome...
Reply
:iconflying-farnsworth:
Flying-Farnsworth Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2008
This is excellent.

I'm a practicing Christian and I find this awesome.

I like how Gandhi put it:
"I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

spot on :)
Reply
:iconkeebler-elfy:
Keebler-Elfy Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2008
So I was discussing evolution with a religious acquaintance of mine and and got into the age old argument. So I decided to ask at that moment "Fine! If what you say is true then where did the fossils come from?" to which he responded "The great flood" at which point I picked up a fossil and bashed him over the head with it (I didn't really do that mostly because I didn't have a fossil at hand; however, I did crack a smile)
Reply
:iconoperakitten:
operakitten Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2008
lol. This is PERFECT. XD It's really sad religious intolerance still exists in 2008. I suppose it's part of human nature. Anyhow, good for you!
Reply
:icontoadking07:
toadking07 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2008  Professional General Artist
yeah, so true. people who dont think, only hear what they want to hear and bend the truth (and God's word) to their own devices are not good people. they cause more harm than good, and are easily fooled!

as a Christian i have to say i always get pissed at people who claim to be peace lovers but only speak hate!
Reply
:iconcodexwriter:
CodexWriter Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2008
You know what they say- for all his teachings, Jesus has caused more bloody wars, genocide and persecution then any one person in history. (Right behind him is Albert Einstein, and he was a pacifist.)
Reply
:iconcrimsonviper38:
CrimsonViper38 Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2007
*punches the air*
YES!
Reply
:iconmasoninlove:
MasonInLove Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2007
That's something the guys in Westboro Baptist church must get...
As necessary for every fundamentalist bastard as a bomb belt and an AK-47. :D

Maybe it's meant to offend religious people, but... Hey, it's hilarious. And "Big Boss" sure had a sense of humour!
Reply
:iconpseudo-manitou:
pseudo-manitou Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2007  Professional General Artist
It's only meant to offend those who are abusing religion.

If they feel they do not apply to this, then I'm sure they, like you, can see the humor in it.
Reply
:iconrosemage:
RoseMage Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2007
fantastic! I would show this to my grandmother, but i fear the true message would be lost on her. Religion has been adapted to personal views so often that it's started to sound like a POCKET JESUS recording on a loop...
Reply
:iconcluelesssevil:
CluelesssEvil Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2007
lol. funniest thing i've seen all day ^^
Reply
:iconjimmeh-white:
jimmeh-white Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2007
i think your confusing bush for Jesus.
bush sure as hell aint Jesus.
funny but.
Reply
:iconpseudo-manitou:
pseudo-manitou Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2007  Professional General Artist
Sorry, this isn't about Bush or Jesus.

This is about what many selfish people want Jesus to be so it would justify their hatred.
Reply
:iconjimmeh-white:
jimmeh-white Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2007
exactly.
i like it very much.
one of those peoples just happen to be leading the world superpower.
and its true,
religion is used for an excuse for acts of hatred, even if the religion does not condone it.
Reply
:iconrushpoint:
rushpoint Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2007
This is incredible! Nice work!
Reply
:iconscissors4franky:
Scissors4Franky Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2007  Student General Artist
Ohmigod. I love this. :hug: You own me.
Reply
:iconrachapunk:
rachapunk Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2007  Hobbyist Photographer
This is perfect in every way.
I bow to you :D

(And yup... Depeche Mode comes to mind immediately ^^)
Reply
:icondramaticaddict:
dramaticaddict Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2007
i love this, can you possibly email the original that conformist art banned?
Reply
:iconpseudo-manitou:
pseudo-manitou Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2007  Professional General Artist
I can't. The original file is gone.
It doesn't mean too much: instead of pocketJesus saying 'all gays shall burn', the original used the more inappropriate word in place of 'gays'; you know, the word that starts with an 'F'?

I don't mind. I'm just a little confused why using that word in mockery of those who use that word in hatred is so offensive.
Reply
:icondramaticaddict:
dramaticaddict Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2007
thats freakin dumb.... its hilarious when used to mock those who mean it....
Reply
:iconne-0n:
ne-0n Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2007
genius.
Reply
:iconmythossorex:
MythosSorex Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2007
Wow... that rocks my socks. It's good enough to start riots, I love it. :rofl:
Reply
:icontonys-works:
tonys-works Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2007   Writer
While I am a devout catholic, I do appreciate the message in this piece. You definitely make your point, and you do it well. Good job on a very powerful piece.
Reply
:iconpseudo-manitou:
pseudo-manitou Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2007  Professional General Artist
Thank you for understanding :)
Reply
:iconsp23hagbard5:
sp23hagbard5 Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2007
great :D
Reply
:iconkojica:
Kojica Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2006
This is hilarious. xD And so creative. I laughed when I saw this.
Reply
:iconhalfdemondog:
halfdemondog Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2006  Student Digital Artist
LOL OMG! I love this! I've NEVER seen ANYTING like this! XD
Reply
:iconchangoritmo:
Changoritmo Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2006
hahahahahaha simply great dude!
Reply
:iconbroken-blanket:
Broken-Blanket Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2006  Hobbyist Digital Artist
hahaahahahahahahahah
ROTMFFLMMFAO!
Reply
:icontalyra:
talyra Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2006
My mum laughed too :D
"Too afraid to be tolerant"... nice touch of sad truth amongst the humour. Think you hit the nail on the head there...
Reply
:iconomnywrench:
Omnywrench Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2006
As much as I love Jesus and his words of loving and caring about others, and as much as I hate bible-whipped religion nuts vomiting dogma, I can't help but laugh at this.
Reply
:iconsarcasticseriousness:
SarcasticSeriousness Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2006
Dude i can not read your comments and not fall further in love with this piece! Awsome work!
Reply
:iconmagnam13:
Magnam13 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2006
This is excellent...I kinda wish it were real...I'd give one to my mom :XD:
I just love this *faves*
Reply
:iconvelador:
velador Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2006
great concept, love it, deserves a big, fat +FAV
Reply
:iconxenogin:
Xenogin Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2006
somehow this reminds me of george carlin.
Reply
:iconhuman-instincts:
Human-Instincts Featured By Owner May 8, 2006
Beautiful. : D
Reply
:iconone-eyed-muse:
One-Eyed-Muse Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2006  Student
i worship you for this...
Reply
:iconwarman666:
Warman666 Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2006
Make a flash one... I really want to press the button...
Other than that, its fantastic, and a great piece. It spells out exactly whats wrong with Christianity. Cutos... Or..something like that.
Reply
:iconchaifox:
chaifox Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2006
sheer brilliance *favs*
Reply
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September 21, 2005
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